WEEK 1 - ONLINE MTC

Hola mi familia y mis amigos,

It has been 4 days in the online missionary training center (mtc) and already I am exhausted. I have learned so much, maybe even too much, and yet I still have every desire in my entire being to keep on pushing forward. There was a day, the second day actually, where I was pretty much sitting by my lonesome, in online classes and doing classwork for 14 straight hours--that's inhumane if you ask me. But, I still continue to look forward to every new activity planned, every workshop, and every class that I have on my already booked schedule so I know that even through exhaustion, I am in the place that I am supposed to be. 

Speaking of places, I have been living out of my family's guest room this entire time. We have this little setup with my computer and everything else I need in a secluded place within my home, and it's kinda eerie. Eerie only because I filmed a short film in here about two years ago about a character who goes mad and locks himself in this same room to write a poem about the entire world and humanity's relationship with the earth--I'm pretty much living out that film. It's even worse because I played the main character, but that's neither here nor there. I've been loving living in the guest room because every time I have a break (only like thirty minute breaks to eat and do whatever else I need to do between classes) it's like I'm royalty and my family drops everything to pay attention to me because that's the only time they'll see me for 4+ hours at a time. It's kinda rad. 

I haven't really had much time to think about what I'm missing out on which is wild to me. My biggest fear going into becoming a missionary was that I would miss out on so much, movies, music, the whole shabang, but--even though nothing new has really even happened in these four days--after I got set apart (became a missionary) I could care less about all of those things. I think that's pretty cool because as a missionary, my purpose in life has shifted. I am no longer searching to fulfill my personal needs and desires, but God's. I am this tool and this extension of Him, so any worldly thing has little to no effect on me anymore. That isn't to say that I haven't been thinking of film at all, but it's just different now and I find that pretty cool. 

The classes and workshops I've been doing have been tight. It's insane how spiritual I have felt within only a short amount of time and how I can feel the Spirit through my computer screen. My companion is cool and the other children of God in my district (group of 12ish missionaries) seem tight too. I'm excited to meet all of them in real life next week when I fly out to Provo, UT for my in person mtc experience. I have been growing more comfortable with them. too, which is something I worried about a lot. Yesterday I was basically the funniest missionary in the entire world, not to brag. I was using those zoom emojis so tastefully and so expertly--I was killing. Bit after bit was hitting. So much so that the teacher and other missionaries were dying on mute. I also started beef with another district of missionaries, 26-E, and so essentially if I ever see them in the mtc it's on sight. I'm starting turf wars on Wednesday at the in person mtc. Those children of God have another thing coming to them.

I have been missing all of you and look forward to hearing from you guys but don't read this like I'm begging you to email me back because you don't have to and if ever my emails get annoying you can just like block me or email me to take you off this list because I don't want you to hate me for the rest of my life. But anyways, Spanish has been also really cool to relearn. I feel like I've picked a lot of the three years I took in high school back up and feel as if that might become one of my biggest strengths as a missionary when I eventually leave for Houston.

Speaking of Houston, I am so excited to get to Texas. Like, I'm just anxiously excited to go meet and serve people there. We did this roleplaying thing where we pretended to be like an investigator and a missionary and that was by far my favorite thing we've done so far. I'm just so excited to meet and talk with people (in Spanish). Today they were talking about what causes stress in this emotional resilience class and a Sister said, "something that causes me stress is roleplaying" and the teacher said, "amen to that one, at least then first time" and I couldn't stop laughing. Anyways, here are some excerpts from my journal since I can't use Letterboxd as my diary anymore and I need to share what my inner thoughts and deepest secrets are:

12/26/2023

Everyone knows their missionary purpose but me. Not the "real" missionary purpose we're supposed to memorize, but the purpose for serving a mission. I've always wanted to serve a mission and I know why I want to, I just can't verbalize it as elegantly as everyone else.

12/28/2023

Learning Spanish is like converting another part of my soul. I have to relearn how to pray, how to read, and how to talk all within the gospel.

12/29/2023

I am tired and thankful for P-Day. (Prep Day)

Well, this is it, the end. But first, I wanted to brag about some projects that I am doing over the course of my two year mission so I'm going to do that here because I know half of you just scrolled to the bottom and skimmed all of this. I am going to be making a documentary while on my mission. It's going to be in the vein of other cinéma vérité films about a day in the life of a missionary. Be on the lookout for updates on this and look for it when it drops in two years! I'm also doing a project where I take a film picture every single day of my mission that I'm hoping to have for myself but also to take around to art galleries some day. I will update you guys on more projects that I end up adding because I cannot live without working on something film related apparently.

Love and miss you all,

Élder Johnson

P.S. A link to the Google Photos album I will be adding to all the time (not really).