WEEK 5 - An Anthology Of Anecdotal Experience
A Questionable Sabbath Day.
The day began with many questions, a multitude of which were directed at specific phrasing within the Bible and the Book of Mormon, as well as both texts as a whole–but that is to be disclosed at a later time. I became obsessed with the wording and ownership of the Fall of Eve and Adam. I was extremely hurt with the phrasing of the event, of which I have subsequently rephrased without notice in my prior sentence, because it reflected an abhorrent sexism within the tenants of my faith. The source of my annoyance came from the fact that Adam gets all the credit for something Eve achieved; it was her transgression, not his, and yet it is hailed as Adam’s Transgression. 2 Nephi 2:25: “Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy.” If Eve transgressed before Adam, why does he get all the credit for mortal life? Within the same chapter, only a couple verses prior, “And after Adam and Eve had partaken of the forbidden fruit they were driven out of the garden of Eden, to till the earth.” Adam before Eve, once more. Genesis 3:6: “And when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree to be desired to make one wise, he took of the fruit thereof, and did eat, and gave also unto her husband with her; and he did eat.” She took of the fruit and gave to her husband. Later, in verses 16 and 17, “Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee. And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast harkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life;” Because she partook of the fruit, she must bring forth children and desire what her husband desires, as he rules over her. She was cursed with pregnancy, (HEB translation is: increase thy discomfort and thy size) and sorrow–to suffer as a mother. Because of Eve’s Transgression, we might bring forth children and have immortal life (after mortal life). Psalms 127:3: “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” His rewards? Not also her’s? John 16:21: “A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” Bare children and have joy. In Moses 5:10 and 11: “And in that day Adam blessed God and was filled, and began to prophesy concerning all the families of the earth, saying: Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God. And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient.” Notice the difference in testimonies of both man and woman. “Because of my transgression” and “were it not for our transgression.” Adam Lives In Theory within Eve’s Transgression so women and men might be.
A Questionable Sabbath Day, Part Two.
Why do we just study the Book of Mormon and not the Bible? Why is the Book of Mormon the sole most important book on the Earth today? Shouldn’t both the Bible and the Book of Mormon be the most important? They are both testaments of Jesus Christ so why should one be superior to the other? No wonder people call us “Mormons,” all we talk about is the Book of Mormon to the point of worship and idolatry. All of these thoughts flooded into my mind before we had even begun our “Go and Do Experience” for this Sunday. I have a testimony of the Book of Mormon, but God needed to test that today. In Elders Quorum, Brother Sitake, the First Counselor of my Branch, brought up some statistics. It took 7 years to translate the King James Bible, which is a page a day for 2,555 days. 25% of the Bible talks about Jesus Christ, approximately 638 pages. It took Joseph Smith 3 months to translate the Book of Mormon, from the month of April to the month of June. That is approximately 10 pages every day for each of the 531 pages. 75% of the Book of Mormon talks about Jesus Christ, approximately 399 pages worth. Okay, so I get why we use the Book of Mormon so much, I guess. However, I set off to read the Bible for my “Go and Do Experience.” As I began to study, I took out all of my things, specifically my Grandpa’s Book of Mormon. Earlier that morning, I decided to take his Book of Mormon for personal study because I didn’t want to read the Spanish scriptures, but I wanted something physical. So, I took it without knowing today’s “Go and Do Experience” was specifically about the Book of Mormon and gaining a testimony of its truth. As I began to begin my study, I was prompted to not read from the Bible, but that I should do something else. I had begun writing my experience I had in my first week of being here in my journal, but I had never finished; the Spirit told me I needed to. So, I did. As I reflected on experience after experience, I was prompted to write out direct quotations of scripture. As I did so, I began to realize that almost all of them were from the Book of Mormon. For this “Go and Do Experience,” the Lord sent me to reflect on all of my other experiences so that He could point out that all of them had some relation to the Book of Mormon, the Book of Mormon providing answers–and direct ones at that–for me. Every section, at least it felt like that, of my Grandpa’s Book of Mormon was highlighted or annotated, but the 36th chapter of Alma was not. Alma chapter 36 was a direct answer for me–it was meant for me–and the Lord knew that. Maybe even my Grandpa, too. And, like that, without even reading the Book of Mormon that Sunday, I knew it was true. By the end of the day, every single question had been answered. The devotional that night went even further by answering my questions as well as reminding me of other answers I had received previously. You don’t just need one testament of Jesus Christ, you need both. It is not about one over the other. The Book of Mormon is an “undilated testimony of Jesus Christ,” D. Todd Christopherson once said. People don’t know Christ anymore, the Book of Mormon re-thrones Him. People must read, ponder, and pray to know Him. Just as I have. The Church used to use the Bible to do missionary work, but not anymore. This works. The Book of Mormon works. “Several prophets whose writings are preserved in the Book of Mormon saw Christ personally.” 2 Nephi 11:2 and 3, Mormon 1:15, and Ether 12:39. Even non-prophets witnessed of Him: 3 Nephi 11:15-17, 3 Nephi 17:25, and Alma 29:3. You don’t need to read the entire book to know it’s true. Just like how you don’t need to eat an entire pizza to know it tastes good, you can smell it, you can take one bite, or you can eat the entire box–you don’t need to read the entire book. Some people know it’s true from just the smell. Jesus even testifies of the truth and importance of the Book of Mormon in Doctrine and Covenants 17:5-9 as well as Doctrine and Covenants 18:3-5. We can have the same faith, the same testimony, and the same power as Joseph Smith through the Book of Mormon. Even as witnesses found within the Introduction of the Book of Mormon left the Church, not one denied the truth of the book. They all said it was the truth, even the truest book on Earth. In other words, God laughed at me today, and taught me so much. I love this Gospel, I love my Father in Heaven, and I love my Redeemer and Savior. I also love the Book of Mormon. I mean it. I do.
Did They Know of the Battle Waged Aside the Plates They Ate Upon?
I saw a guy break his arm today. We were at dinner and the table across from me was having an arm wrestle competition. The night before, our district was arm wrestling and Elder Bernard and I mentioned, “don’t be doing that, you could break your arm”; we decided to cease arm wrestling to start our devotional review. Unfortunately, this Elder didn’t have a devotional review to stop the wrestling. It happened while I was tuning out of a conversation at the district table during dinner. As I did so, something caught my eyes: the struggling of two guys, locked in an arm wrestle battle. They were pretty evenly matched, their arms locked at the starting position, but it appeared they had been arm wrestling for some time because the chairs they were once sitting at had been tossed to the side and they were kneeling on the ground. I watched for a multitude of seconds, catching a Sister’s eye who sat next to one of the wrestlers, her puzzled expression and mouthing of “I don’t know” signified–if not repeated–that this was too serious. Back to the wrestling. I look to the left hand of the wrestler closest to me, his back against my view, the knuckles of his left hand turned a cool, boney white–a foreshadowing of what to come, upon reflection. As my eyes tracked back up to the drama of the battle, my heart sank to my stomach. I knew what was about to happen. Elder Bernard, if he was watching, would have known what was about to happen. At that very moment, like the wiggling-to-release of a loose tooth attached via string to a steel door slammed milliseconds prior or the popping open of a mason jar, the air rushing in to a newly vacant space, his arm snapped. My breathing ceased. The arm wrestling victor celebrated. The loser stood–rather kneeled–defeated in more ways than one. The pop of bone still resounds within the cave of my mind. The loser stood up, how, I don’t know, clutching his limp forearm turned outwards, in a way no arm should ever be turned, and not a breath nor sound escaped his agape lips. His face began to turn a bright red, slowly encroaching the realm of purple. It was at this moment that everyone else knew. The victor turned to face his opponent, the smile quickly escaping his face as the Sister next to the victor, of whom had communicated with me non-verbally during the match, clutched her hands over her mouth as if to stop a scream from escaping into the cafeteria. What happened next I can barely recall, as only flashes remain within my present memory. I, myself, must not have been breathing. The injured was escorted, mouth still agape, as neither sound nor breath escaped the hole, out of the cafeteria, the victor standing in his place of victory, unsure of what to do except relate a face of horror absolute for all onlookers to see and–more importantly–remember. It wasn’t until someone turned him from his place that he was able to be escorted out of the cafeteria, too. And with that, the entire district who once inhabited the wrestling match table had vanished. Before I could react, a new district sat where they once did. As they ate, I wondered if they could ever know–ever understand–what had happened there. Did they know of the battle waged aside the plates they ate upon? What other matches have commenced within the cafeteria I eat from every single day? Who were the victors? What happened to the losers? Between the plates of glass and utensils of silver lay an incomprehensible amount of victory and tragedy, the battlefields now adorned with crumbs and spills; lost to time itself, but forever found in the hearts of the onlooker. I stood up and rushed to tell Paige of the battle turned sour. Sorry, Hermana Dana.
Converted Through Practice.
Elder Madsen and I prepared for our helping others appointment. The other day, a teacher gave a powerful lesson on how to feel the Spirit through simple questions, and we sought to apply this in our lesson. I was going to ask questions like: “Why does God love you?” But, ultimately I sought to loose my tongue and allow God to speak through me. And, He did. Moments before the lesson, I received inspiration to get my Grandpa’s Book of Mormon from my dorm room. So, I did. Why? I didn’t quite know yet. I found out once we sat down with Gabriel and he totally turned a different direction than we had prepared for. He began bombarding Elder Madsen and I with questions about the Book of Mormon, like “why did Nephi kill Laban?” and “who is a prophet?”, to which we answered–albeit thrown off after pivoting so abruptly. What came next I can barely recall because it was not me. It was the Spirit of the Lord speaking through me with my own testimony. I began by bringing out my Book of Mormon–actually, our Book of Mormon as it has seemingly been shared between my Grandpa, my Aunt Heather, and now me. The Lord testified that through the Book of Mormon, I can feel my Grandpa with me whenever I read from it, and that I could, in fact, feel my Grandpa in the room with Gabriel and Elder Madsen at that moment in time. It was unbelievable, not only because the Lord guided my words but because I knew he was there. I knew my Grandpa was with us, and that he was joined with other angels in that small room. The Lord testified these things and more through me. By the time the mock lesson was over, I didn’t even know what had happened. I still don’t know what He said through me and I won’t until I review the recording of our lesson. I will never forget this feeling, the Spirit that enveloped me, and I hope to feel this every day of my mission and for the rest of my life. I love the Lord, my God, my Father in Heaven, and I love my Grandpa.
Be Not Ashamed.
I had the opportunity to hear from Bishop Caussé and Sister Caussé for this week’s Tuesday devotional. Sister Caussé began, in what would be one of my favorite talks–and devotionals–ever, with the bearing of an emotional testimony about truth and knowing. She reflected upon her last memory of her father, a man who struggled to convert himself to the Gospel. She stated that their last conversation was one of the most spiritual experiences she had ever had. She said it was because he bore his testimony to her; it was the strongest, most powerful testimony she had ever heard. My testimony is the greatest gift I could ever give to someone. I must know of its truth and testify of my knowledge and experience, knowledge and experience that is unique to me, and only me. She then concluded with two verses from 2 Timothy 1:7 and 8, two verses that spoke completely to me. So much so, that they may be my mission and life mantra. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. Be not thou therefore ashamed of the testimony of our Lord, nor of me his prisoner: but be thou partake of the afflictions of the gospel according to the power of God;” I will not fear man. I will go forth with power, love, and sound mind through Him. My testimony is who I am; I will be not ashamed. It is not enough to know the rehearsed words and phrases in the little red Spanish book, you must trust in the Lord to find words you never knew, words that come from your heart, the power of each beat, and the confidence that your truth, your testimony, and your words are your own through the power of God. It is faith in God, it is faith that He will empower, translate, and transform my words and my experience that will create a powerful testimony of what I know to be true.
La Clairvoyance.
Bishop Caussé followed his wife’s remarks, sharing a story about meeting the missionary that converted his parents, attended his sealing, and changed his family’s life forever. The missionary shared his mission journal with Bishop Caussé and he then saw the amount of love, care, and faith the missionary had in the Caussé’s family. I must pray for my friends, I must fast for my friends, and I must fight for the faith of my friends. This comes from seeing them as they can become–as God sees them. Bishop Caussé then showed something that instilled him as my favorite speaker, ever: a Rene Magritte painting. Isn’t that so French? I wish I were French. Spiritually, I am a Frenchman. The piece was “La Clairvoyance,” and, like this incredible piece by Magritte, we must imagine our friends as glorified beings. We can see their potential through Jesus Christ. It is faith, it is service, and it is faith once more, but faith that you can be an instrument in God’s hands, as well as a testimony in the Atonement. You must have faith in yourself, faith in God, and faith in the Atonement of Christ. I must humble myself to rely on the Lord’s strengths and I should rejoice in my weaknesses because then the Lord can turn them to strengths. Paul is someone I should learn from, especially for my mission. Bishop Caussé shared excerpts from Paul’s testimony in Corinthians. 2 Corinthians 12:9 and 10: “And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distress for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then I am strong.” Paul felt inadequate as an apostle. He cherished his weaknesses because he had faith that Christ would strengthen him. He then became an elegant and powerful speaker and an incredible missionary. I hold the salvation of people’s lives in my hands and I must be ready and prepared to be worthy of being His instrument. We are all Lehi knowing and partaking of the fruit of eternal life to invite others to come unto Christ. I must first be at the tree and I must have partaken of the fruit. I must know before teaching, for I cannot teach without full understanding. This comes from repentance. Repent every day. Through Christ’s Atonement, I can become a conduit of the Spirit of God. My Spanish is important, but I must learn two languages first. I should learn the language of the Spirit and learn about the Savior’s Atonement, then the Lord will help me to learn the language of Spanish. Gérald Caussé is who I aspire to become. His spirit, his artistry, and his knowledge of the world and the Gospel is inspiring. He concluded his wife and his devotional with a beautifully powerful piano exitlude. He played a medley of Come, Come, Ye Saints that I will never forget. The performance began with passionate dissonance and slowly fought to become a blazingly empowered song of the heart, testifying the truth of the three faithful remarks that Bishop Caussé spoke about. This is one of my favorite devotionals and talks, ever. Not only because of the Caussé’s but because of the testimony I received and experienced. Also, all the scriptures quoted were from the Bible. I’m just saying.
Seeing Things.
The day started as soon as my room’s alarm went off at 6:30 AM. Today, I sought to internalize the Caussé’s remarks and pray to see everyone in their white clothes, as God would see them, ready to visit the temple. It worked. As I walked around the cafeteria for breakfast, every person I saw was wearing white. I felt the Spirit so much, and had so much love for people I didn’t even know. Seeing things continued throughout the rest of the week, including in the temple. I wish I could disclose the things that I’ve seen, the truths that I felt, but I cannot. Words could not do them justice, especially because of their sacredness. Perhaps one day I might be able to testify of what I saw and those I had seen, but that day will be in the temple or in eternity.
Thus concludes an anthology of experience for the fifth week of my missionary experience. Stay tuned next week to see what new crazy, wacky, and insane turn I take with the format of my emails in hopes of preserving my creative mind from decaying into absolute mush. Who knows, next week could just be a haiku.
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WEEK 5:
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