WEEK 24 - Be Strong And Of A Good Courage

“Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the Lord thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.” (Deuteronomy 31:6) 

One of my favorite quotes of late has been this one, first delivered to Israel from Moses and then often repeated to an anxious–I’d imagine–Joshua the son of Nun, the succeeding prophet after Moses. Joshua had a lot on his plate. He had followed Moses nearly all of his life, fulfilling every commandment God had given him, including being sent as a spy into the Promised Land, being one of twelve representatives of the tribes of Israel, and being one of two who returned alive. He followed the commandments faithfully, so much so that out of his entire generation, including Moses, he and Caleb were the only people allowed to enter into the Promised Land. The prophet, the one who had led the Exodus out of Egypt, persevered wandering in the wilderness for more than forty years, directing twelve tribes of over six hundred thousand rebellious and peculiar people, was not allowed to enter into the Promised Land–the reason for the Exodus in the first place. He was allowed to view it, yes, but never was he permitted entrance into the land that floweth of milk and honey. Why? Because even Moses was hesitant to follow every commandment of God. And yet here is Joshua, called to succeed Moses as prophet and to lead Israel into the land of their inheritances, and he feels as if he cannot do it. He cannot live up to his calling by God; he cannot follow this commandment. 

“And the Lord, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8)

The Lord is he that is before thee. Not fear. Not anxiety. Not these feelings of inadequacy that Joshua is probably feeling at this moment, directly after Moses has told all of Israel he is going to die and that he will not be crossing the river Jordan into the promised land. None of these things that can be personified into a tangible being standing before Joshua. It is the Lord that is before thee. He will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee. Fear not, neither be dismayed. 

I adore this counsel from Moses. So much so that I decided to write an entire email about it, but also because at times, I think, we are all Joshua. We are all standing at the precipice of greatness, standing with full knowledge that we must either live up to the calling God has given us or succumb to fear that stands before us. 

As a missionary, I know this feeling very well. Every lesson that I go into I feel this. I think to myself, “if I don’t teach the right thing, this person may not feel the Spirit and may dismiss the Doctrine of Jesus Christ and might lose their one shot, their one opportunity, to change their eternity.” It’s spiraled, anxious thinking, but has some validity, right? It’s the same way we can empathize with Joshua’s fears–because fear is a very real thing. Right now, I feel this fear and inadequacy more than ever. 

Our area is “no-man’s land” according to President Richards. We have been trying to build a Spanish branch or group in Sealy, but are at a standstill. Currently, we cover the city of Sealy and the city of Brookshire (where the majority of our members live). The stake has a Spanish ward in the city of Katy. From Sealy, that’s about 35-40 minutes away and from Brookshire it’s about 20 minutes away. The attitude of the ward is that if Spanish members or friends who come to Sealy and want to hear the Gospel in their own language (without translation) and are disappointed with the resources the Sealy ward has to offer, they can go to the Katy Spanish ward. From Sealy (and further West like out to Columbus and down to Eagle Lake) that’s a drive that can be a sacrifice. So, we’ve been working to make the Spanish members and friends who choose to stay in the English ward of Sealy feel more comfortable and recommend to those who don’t feel comfortable that they can go to the Spanish ward. Myself and Elder Lawyer are unable to go to the Spanish ward because it’s out of our area. That leaves our friends and members in Brookshire caught in the middle (quite literally) of all of this. They can either choose to come to a ward that doesn’t have sufficient resources to support a Spanish speaking minority or choose to go to a Spanish speaking ward, because they are equidistant away from each other. We have been given permission by President Richards to invite our friends, of whom we are teaching and supporting to make life-changing decisions, to go to the Spanish speaking ward in Katy, even though we are unable to go to this ward and receive them. This wouldn’t be a problem except for the fact that we have missionaries who also happen to cover Brookshire, serving in the Spanish ward of Katy. It’s the farthest part of their area, but they are beginning to do work there, teaching some of our very friends without us knowing it. It makes sense logistically because you can truly be a friend when those you are teaching arrive at church, and we simply aren’t allowed to go to the Spanish ward to do this, and it leaves Elder Lawyer and I in an existential crisis because we feel as if our work in Brookshire is non-existent; we can’t support anyone we find in Brookshire because they would benefit from the Spanish speaking ward, rather than the English Sealy ward. On top of that, the elders in the Katy Spanish ward have asked us to give them those that we find and teach in Brookshire if they desire to go to the Spanish speaking ward, so our work in Brookshire has been downgraded to finding people for other missionaries. Wo us, right? 

Currently, we are standing on the precipice of change. I feel very much like Joshua right now, after an emergency transfer, two departing sister missionaries, and transfers on the horizon, there is no question that this area within the Sealy ward is going to change. How? No one knows. The sisters cover the western part of the ward, going all the way out to Columbus and Sheridan, and they are both going home this week; they’ve received notice that their area is getting shut down. So, that means many things for the future of this area. We could cover their area or we could stay the same and continue work in Sealy and Brookshire, doing missionary work for other missionaries–no one knows until tomorrow. 

I’m terrified of the outcome. Terrified because I feel as if all of the work I have done for the past twelve weeks is quickly being erased (what with the recent Brookshire development and area closing news) and terrified because I don’t know what the Lord is calling us to do. I feel as if I lived up to His calling in this area, but that now I may have to live up to a new calling I am not ready for. So, I’ve turned to my studies of the Old Testament and of one person, in particular, and ranted to all of you about it. Whatever the outcome, I will do as the Lord commands. I will know that He is before me; that I need not be dismayed by the news that is to come. I leave you with one of my favorite iterations of those seven words counseled to Joshua and I pray that one person may be able to take something out of my experiences, thoughts, and impressions within this oblong email that is pretending to be an epistle. 

“Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest.” (Joshua 1:9)

P.S. Read verse eight if you read this far, too. Scripture study is important and can bring us any kind of success–or strength–we need!!

P.P.S. "Be strong and of a good courage" trumps any amount of "I will go and do the things which the Lord hath commanded." Don't know who needed to hear that, but I hope they did.