WEEK 2 - THE MTC IS HELL ON EARTH

EDIT: I was originally going to not explain the subject line until the very end of this email or even not at all, but I decided that some of you probably will only read this far into my beautifully crafted prose and life-changing experiences, so, no the MTC is not Hell on Earth, but I did think so on my first day here.

This week was crazy. I spent Saturday wrapping up online MTC classes which was kinda sad. We had to say goodbye to our teachers that we’ve had ever since we got set apart as missionaries, Hermano Reeve and Aina (look at the photos link if you’re curious as to how much we were crying and balling our eyes out). Then, I spent the entire night stressing about my film release, as well as my farewell talk, as well as my missionary packing. In other words, a crazy wonderful day.

Sunday was spent equally crazy, as I shuttled from farewell to farewell and then back to my own luncheon sendoff. I had the opportunity to see Paige after what felt like years of not seeing her after getting set apart and then I experienced the best talk of my entire life. No, it was not mine. I was so happy I was able to see her for the last time before leaving for the MTC and even more joyful because I could hear her talk. I like to think that, as our entire relationship was founded upon, the coincidences and happenstance are just angels allowing us to bond, meet, and see each other. If it isn’t that then I don’t know how else to explain it.

CAMP FLOG GNAW (2023) released. January 1st, 2024. The first day of the rest of my life. What more could I possibly want than to release a feature length film and then devote the next two years of my life to the Lord? Nothing.

I am not doing a daily thing so I am skipping to notable experiences and if you don’t like that then I don’t know what to tell you. I had to wake up at like 4 AM and spent the entire night packing for 6 weeks at the MTC. WOOOOOO!! I said goodbye to everyone one last time via text and held back tears as I said goodbye to my family as I moved towards security. I was really uncomfortable with the idea of wearing my tag in public (I know what I’ll be doing for two years, chill out), but while in security, a tiny miracle happened. As my family watched me snake through the line ever so slightly, I began to feel the eyes of someone looking–no staring–directly at me. My first thought was, “oh no, this is it. This person is anti-Mormon and they’re staring at me to start some sort of like attack or something on me. Maybe I can’t do this. This is crazy.” And then, before you know it, the shaky whisper of a grandma’s voice reaches me. “Where are you off to?” I turned to face the most endearing smile I had ever seen. My fears subsided. I was okay and I could do this. We exchanged a few words, I explained that I was going to Houston, Texas and she concluded our brief conversation with her whispering, in the same tone to which our conversation began, “Thank you for your service.” Thinking back on it, this small moment was a miracle that I needed, it was just for me. She very well could have been an angel sent from the heavens because it was so perfect. From that point forward, all my anxious thoughts subsided and I waved goodbye to my family for the last time for two years to catch my flight after security. The grandma? Nowhere to be found. 

When I arrived at the MTC, I didn’t know what to expect, but it was not what I imagined would be greeting me after a long morning and an even longer previous day. The buildings looked like they have been around since my Dad was in the MTC almost 25 years ago–probably because they have been. I was one of the first missionaries to arrive so we got treated to lunch. I would have rather not eaten. If there’s one thing that is hellish on this entire MTC campus, it is the cafeteria. What proceeded dining on a scrumptious meal of hellish proportions was something that was reminiscent of arriving at BYU my freshman year. Or summer camp. Probably summer camp. We were assigned people to take our bags who would then lead us to our rooms and we checked in, got the phone I am writing this email on and will continue to write these emails on for the next two years, and started meeting the missionaries I had only ever seen on zoom in my district. 

I was kinda hating all of this. This hate got cranked to 11 when they sat us in this huge conference room akin to something out of Magnolia (1999), except instead of Tom Cruise coming out to the applause of misogynists, it was the MTC presidency coming out to greet all the new missionaries. I was very confused, especially when they began to pass around microphones and get like audience participation. It felt like some sort of pyramid scheme or time share scam. Thus, the title of this email originates. 

At this moment in time, I did not want to be at the MTC. I had just said goodbye to Paige and my family for the time being, had just had to cut my hair super short, had to leave everything behind, and now it felt like it was nothing that I had expected. So, what was I doing here? I began to resent all the rules that were pounded over my head after workshop after workshop and, honestly, I was exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to end the never-ending day. That is, until Ed came on stage in the conference room. Ed was a convert to the Church and shared his incredible testimony about how the missionaries found him in New York at his absolute lowest and picked him up with the loving nature of Jesus Christ. It was incredible. I was floored. Maybe this place isn't Hell on Earth but Heaven. Ed was exactly what I needed to hear, once again. I thanked him afterwards and we chatted because he served his mission in San Diego and actually stayed in Carlsbad for a bit of it and I knew exactly where his apartments back in the day were. Another miracle! This must be the right decision. 

It later was affirmed to me that this was not Hell on Earth because every inch of the grounds has been consecrated for our use. That means this place is holy holy. I began to feel the Spirit so much and those negative thoughts subsided. I was meant to be here and I was going to stay. 

Friday is my preparation day here in the MTC so that means going to the temple! WOOOOOO! Also a small miracle here because ever since I was at BYU they said this temple would be closed for remodeling but I guess that remodeling is happening like a week before I leave the MTC to go to Houston in a couple weeks. So like, God kept it open for us. Ok, but actually, there was a huge miracle that happened at the temple today. So essentially, for those unfamiliar with the temple, in order to like go in and do all the holy things you do in the temple (rituals really–and I mean that in the anthropological sense of the term: as in what every single religion and social group in history has ever done) you need a recommend which is really like a library card to tell the workers there that you're a worthy member and can participate in the sacred ordinances that happen there. Well, turns out, just like library cards these recommends expire. I brought an expired recommend to temple. The temple that myself and my district of 12 other missionaries were going to spend the next hour and a half at. If you don't have a recommend or if your recommend is expired, you can't really go in and do anything, so I was kinda freaking out. I had a prompting to use my expired recommend anyway (expired in September of 2023) and the most miraculous thing happened: it worked. They scanned the recommend and it scanned as if it was an unexpired one. I couldn't believe it. I think the reason this happened was because I was doing His will not mine. I was in the right place, doing the right things, and Heavenly Father blessed me. 

Now, as I conclude this week's email, I want to hold myself accountable to obedience. This is something I struggle with so I'm hoping, and praying, that by telling you all about it I can begin to become more obedient. I will be obedient this next week and do everything that the Spirit and the MTC tells me to do. This includes following the rules and not questioning/neglecting the ones that I don't like or think are stupid. I think I'll see so many promised blessings if I do so and I can't wait to tell you all about them. The end. 

CHECK OUT THESE AWESOME INCREDIBLE PICTURES WOOOO

https://photos.app.goo.gl/iHDMWudu1Cg25Ld77